June 7, 2004: I don’t know who invented Pepto Bismol, but they are now our new best friends. Being seasoned international travelers, we’ve come prepared! We started taking the medications we brought with us, and the Pepto seemed to help quite a bit. We had some watermelon, fruit juice, toast and hot tea for breakfast, even though we had no appetite. Sam had her bottle, then really enjoyed a form of rice porridge called "congee." We dressed her in the ladybug outfit, a little hat, and off we all went at 8:00am to the government officials who finalize the adoption. Sam was bright, cheerful, and grinning at everyone we met. (We were not any of those things)! Running on empty, we were very fortunate to be the first couple called. At 9:00am, we signed the paperwork, passport application, birth certificate, and so forth. We paid our fees, then put our thumb prints and Sam’s right foot print on the documents. This made it official: According to the Chinese government, Sam was now officially ours.
The nanny who had carried Sam from Zhangye to Lanzhou and handed her off to us was also there. She went around hugging the babies, holding some, and carrying on with them all morning. This made us a bit nervous, as we didn’t know how Sam would react to seeing her again. Not in a very good mood and feeling horrible, I grabbed the first thing available and prepared to smack the nanny with a wet wipe. Amazingly, when the nanny reached out her arms and clapped her hands inviting Sam to come to her, Sam only smiled and held on tight to Debbie; She would not go to the nanny! It was clear the bonding had begun, so I holstered the attack wet wipe for another time. We gave Sam a small bottle of water, after which she slept for two hours. When the morning ended, all the families, babies, and orphanage staff took a group photo, then the nanny said goodbye to each baby she had escorted. As the director and Sam’s nanny left to start their long journey back to Zhangye, the nanny wept softly as she left the room, and it was clear to see how much she cared for these children. She had also given us the two cameras that Debbie sent two months ago. We did this in hopes of seeing the orphanage, as we will not be able to go visit during our stay here. We will get the photos developed tomorrow, (I hope).
Once we had finished, we started to relax. All the paperwork was done, so for the rest of the week, we can get to know Sam. We go in on Friday to collect the passport, then fly to Guangzhou on Saturday to apply for her US visa. We were all going shopping for strollers, more formula, diet coke, and other such things, which the guides mercifully put off until 4pm. After lunch, we gave Sam a bottle then put her down for a nap. We joined her and both slept for about 2 hours, and felt much better by 4pm. We went shopping, bought a stroller, bottled water, formula, and diet coke, then walked the 10 minutes back to the hotel. Sam doesn’t care for the stroller yet. In fact, Debbie has called her the "Velcro baby." She has been in the snugglie most of the day when we’ve been out, (Sam loves the snugglie). She clings to Debbie like a little monkey, and has a fit whenever she’s not with her. When I hold her, change her, or whatever, she throws a fit. When she gets back into Debbie’s arms, she stops crying, then looks at me and grins! Actually, it’s more like a little smirk, as if to say "You gave in sucker!!!" But I’m not worried- Just wait until she wants her own car. Sam would not let anyone else hold her all day, and whenever Debbie had to do something where I had to hold her, Sam immediately went into her tantrum mode.
After dinner, we returned to our room to rest. Sam gets fussy when she’s tired, rubs her eyes, yawns, and fights going to sleep. As she lay in her crib having a tantrum, (Debbie was getting ready for bed), I laid across the bed, looked down at her and did the only thing I knew to do: I started singing. During the first 24 hours, that had been the most positive part of my relationship with Sam: Singing her to sleep. Otherwise, she only tolerated me as long as Debbie was around. So, I started singing a song called "Somewhere Out There," as I'd been singing it to myself for the past few months, (I seemed so fitting to our process). I sang to her very softly, (here are the words if you’ve never heard it):
Somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light
Someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight;
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer,
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.
And even though I know how very far apart we are,
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star;
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky!
Somewhere out there if love can see us through,
Then we'll be together; somewhere out there:
Out where dreams, come true!
As soon as I started singing to her, the most amazing thing happened: She instantly stopped crying and stared into my eyes. With each little hand grabbing her blanket up under her chin, she gazed at me almost without blinking as I kept singing, never taking her eyes off of me. She had connected with Debbie almost instantly, but was never very sure about me. So while I sang to her, a connection evolved over those few minutes that wasn’t there before. That’s all I can say to describe it- we really connected; just the two of us. Those little eyes fixed on mine, and she just kept staring and staring; And the uncertain expression on her face gave way to a slight smile! As a proud father I freely admit that the tears began to roll down my cheeks, and my voice started to quiver- as I sang to her until I could only hum- then the words were lost. The most peaceful look covered her face as she drifted off to sleep, and my heart was full to overflowing. It was a very special moment in time that I don’t think I will ever forget. I sat there for about 5 minutes just watching her sleep, letting the tears fall, then kneeled down beside her crib to thank God for her. I don’t really know if I had gotten through to her or if the connection was real: All I know is that she now had my whole heart. I laid down on the bed beside Sam, and everyone slept peacefully for about 9 hours.
